Welcome To My Life, Ed. 3 Vol II

The other day, I was woken up by the sound of a dog gagging and heaving, attempting to puke in my bedroom. It was still dark, very dark, and I flung myself out of bed and stumbled and fumbled around the room in a pathetic attempt to get the dog out of the house before the vomit actually came out.

By the time I got my bearings and turned on a light it was too late. Little Hanky-Panky deposited a solid chunk of bone the size of a large marble right on the carpet. Still staggering around, I shuffled him outside since he was still heaving.

First thing I thought: "Thank goodness that came back up, because there was no way it was going to come out the other end."

Second thing I thought (after glancing at my clock; remember its pitch black outside): "Phew, at least I have another hour to sleep before my alarm goes off."

And, before the thought was even completed, the alarm went off.

Stupid dog.

Stupid time change.

Stupid Monday.